I'm Going to be a Stepmom!

June 8, 2008

Joe seems distant, as if he has a lot on his mind. I’m sure that’s because he has so much going on right now. His stepmother’s porch flooded after those spring showers, so he’s building a retaining wall for her, to prevent future calamities. His job is sending him to Midland, TX, in a couple weeks to train employees for the new department that will be opening soon. But before he leaves for Midland, he wants to finish putting up a storage shed in his mother’s back yard, in preparation for the latest change in our lives.

I’m going to be a stepmom.

Joe found out Friday, his ex-wife passed away a couple weeks ago. He knew she had been sick and in and out of the hospital for a year or more. She was paralyzed from the chest down in an auto accident when she was just a toddler. She’s been in a wheelchair ever since, and so would get bedsores. I guess the infection from the bedsores spread throughout her body and finally took her. We don’t know a lot more than that. Joe and her family are not on good terms, so they weren’t updating him on her condition or keeping him informed about her health. In fact, he found out about her passing from the family lawyer, NOT from the family themselves.

It’s all very strange. Even his son and daughter never said anything, even though he talks to them on the phone weekly. I can’t imagine that the kids, ages 14 and 12, would never say anything to him about their mother being in the hospital, in a coma, and finally passing. When he would talk to them on the phone, they would say simply, “Mom’s sleeping.” Or, “Mom’s not here right now.” Joe thinks they may have been “coached,” but even so, kids aren’t known for having a stronghold on their emotions. Sooner or later they would break down and spill their guts, it seems.

We were already planning a flight to San Diego, to bring them back to Oklahoma for the summer. But now they will be coming out to stay. Although Joe knew their mom was ill and hoped she would live long enough to see them graduate high school, she didn’t. She passed away May 20 at age 49.

So many mixed emotions! Joe is excited about having his kids back; he hasn’t seen them at all in over a year. And I’m excited about having a daughter and shopping for girl clothes and doing all the “girlie” things!

But life is going to change dramatically, for all of us. John and Jodie are leaving their home, their family, their school, their friends – all they have ever known to start a new life. And Nathan, well, he used to ask, “When am I going to get a brother or sister?” Or, “What’s it like to have brothers and sisters?” He finally has his chance to find out!