10 Year-Old Accountant, Pt 2: Two Sides

August 22, 2008

Two sides battled within me: the aspiring career-woman and the romantic.

Part of me knew from the time I was 12 that I’d have a career in some sort of office/business setting one day. But the other side waited for Prince Charming to ride in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet. I would be the quintessential “happy homemaker” while my husband worked his career and brought home the bacon.

My fundamentalist religious upbringing formed the root of that idea: women belonged in the home and it was the man’s job to provide. Granted, I was homemaking-oriented: I’d been sewing my own clothes since I was 16 and made pillows and doll clothes from my mom’s cloth scraps since I was at least 6. Besides just knowing simple baking skills such as mixing and measuring and how to use an oven and how to read a recipe, I enjoyed trying new recipes and planning dinners. Following my mother’s example I’d learned how to do embroidery and cross-stitch by the time I was 8.

I enjoyed the homemaking side of life and believed in the old-fashioned stereotype of the woman taking care of the home and the man taking care of her.

Because of this dream, I didn’t take my early college years very seriously. I really just wasn’t settled yet. I was confused about my place in life and didn’t exactly get any instruction or direction from my parents. That, and I was terrified of the “outside world.” I’d been so sheltered all my life and had so little confidence, I was absolutely terrified of the responsibilities of a degree and a career. I “didn’t think I could do it.” I wanted to continue to be sheltered and protected from the harsh, terrifying world.

I graduated from high school in the mid-1980s, having dabbled in a few computer classes. Computers, programming, and anything related to the field were just beginning to be the “big thing.” This was reflected even in pop music; I can still hear Rick Springfield’s voice singing about this very thing in “The Human Touch”:

"Everybody’s talking to computers, they’re all dancing to a drum machine.
I know I’m living on the outside, scared of getting caught between.
I’m so cool and calculated alone in the modern world…”

My college career began with a study of Data Processing, but it didn’t suit me and I dropped the idea after just one semester. I spent the next two years studying Home Economics, then worked for three years at a seamstress shop doing alterations. A career in the domestic arts could be quite lucrative and successful for the right person – catering, designing, tailoring, decorating.

But the business-woman in me won out. When I was about 23 the idea hit me like a brick: why not study Accounting? I like business and I like working with numbers. Why didn't I think of this before? Accounting will be a perfect fit! Thus I enrolled at Dalton College, then a 2-year college, and pursued an Associate Degree in Business Administration.

Days were spent working at the seamstress shop, while evenings were spent in the classroom, two classes per quarter. I couldn’t take more than that because I had to work. People would ask me if I worked, or was I going to school during the day. My reaction to was one of, what do you think? Of course I was working, and going to school at night. I had tuition to pay for, for one. Plus I was paying for my own car and insurance, not my parents, although I was living at home. Buying my own groceries, too! How on earth would I have any money if I didn’t work?

Now, if I were married, I thought, I wouldn’t have to work! So anyway, I made good grades in all my classes and completed my Associate Degree with a 3.53 GPA.

By then I’d met the man who became my first husband. He also had an Associate Degree, in Computer Programming, and although he wasn’t working in the programming field yet, he spoke often of getting into it. And, even though this was the early 1990s, long before popular use of the internet, cell phones, digital cameras, and dotcoms, I knew that any career choice involving data processing or information services or computer programming was bound to be lucrative.

If I married him, I could have my “happily ever after”! He would make lots of money, I would stay home and raise the family, and my fears of the “outside world” could be put to rest. Prince Charming had rescued me from this harsh world!

Believing this myth, I focused my time and energy on planning the wedding and becoming a wife. Finally, I would be a “Mrs.”, and being a Mrs. did NOT include the stress and responsibility of a full-time job outside the home. As far as I was concerned I was done with school, and completion of a Bachelor Degree or becoming a Certified Public Accountant were the furthest thing from my immature, short-sighted, 20-something mind.

(to be continued…)