John, the Troublemaker

September 2, 2008

Things (with the kids) have gone smoother the past couple of weekends. I can tell Joe and Grandma Fern have been working with them and talking to them a lot. They've been much calmer and more respectful than they have been since they came to live with their dad two months ago.

But I don't know what we're going to do about John! The kid can't entertain himself without a TV or some kind of computer game. He has to pick on Jodie and annoy her constantly (as big brothers will). He can't mind his own business, can't keep his hands to himself, will take things without asking, stuff like that. I'm sure he does it for attention. We try to discipline, take away privileges, enforce rules, and encourage him to mind JOHN'S business, but he doesn't care. It doesn't sink in.

I even had to smack him yesterday for something, probably some disrespectful, smart-aleck comment he made. I was just sick of his acting up. I can see him in trouble with the law by the time he's 16. I asked Joe if he'd thought about what he's going to do when John comes home smelling like cigarette smoke the first time. Said he hadn't thought about that; he's more worried about "that other smell," meaning pot.

Joe asked me last night what I thought about sending him to a child psychologist. I'm against it, except as a last resort. I'm afraid that the first thing a doctor would do is put him on medication, and medication is not the solution.

“I'm afraid we're fighting a losing battle,” I told Joe.

On the other hand, if I'm fixing dinner, John will very often ask if he can help. And when I asked for a volunteer to sweep the kitchen floor the other day, he volunteered. Which makes me think that he just needs to feel useful and needs to be paid attention to. I'm trying to find out what his interests are and what he's good at. Maybe I can encourage him to pursue things on his own.

It's hard, coming in to a child's life at his age.

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Joe bought a propane grill at Lowe’s; he’s been wanting a grill for the back porch and finally found one he likes. Nathan helped put it together, then Joe grilled salmon for dinner. Mmm, it was good. Food grilled in the back yard is among my favorites.

I discovered that the kids like those crescent rolls you can get in the canned biscuit section, so I fixed them for tonight’s dinner (as I do, as much as possible). I try to fix a green vegetable each evening at dinner -- broccoli, green beans, peas -- and the kids all have to try a little of everything, although they aren't always thrilled about it. For breakfast it's usually eggs, hashbrowns, toast, waffles, pancakes (whole wheat), or bacon. Those all get eaten up pretty quick, but John & Jodie don't like oatmeal or gravy (Nathan likes both just fine). Don't like oatmeal??! What planet are they from?? I thought everybody liked oatmeal.

Overall, it is kind of nice to have a family to take care of, to cook for, to look after. I do believe I’ve found my calling! Some women aren’t cut out to be moms, but I am. Guess I got that from my own mom.