May 31, 2009
Joe and I are married
now! Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Together.
The wedding was
simple. The day was hot but the park was beautiful with roses in pink, red,
yellow, orange. The cake, lemon with raspberry filling, was delicious. All our
close friends and family were there. After five months of planning it all came
together.
Tomorrow we head west
to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. But for now we’re relaxing on the couch
in our home, amidst all the gifts, cards, and leftover cake. I’m exhausted. Pachelbel’s
Canon in D and Josh Groban’s When You Say You Love Me swirl in my head…..
February 3. I’ve been
looking at dresses. I don’t intend to wear white; heck, we’ve both been married
before so I just want it to be pretty and comfortable and casual. Right now I’m
leaning toward magenta and ivy-green. The guys won’t wear ties; probably just
polo shirts and nice slacks. Not going to throw the bouquet, toss the garter,
or have the official ‘going-away.’ I want to just relax and enjoy the reception
and take time to visit with the guests this time!
Right now the issue is becoming MONEY. EXPENSES. Joe is concerned about the costs of the
wedding plus a honeymoon (I want to go on a cruise). Location rental, food,
photography, flowers, minister, clothing… D’ye think $2,000 ought to cover it?!
Oh, and a cruise would be $200-$300 each, plus the flight to get to the port.
That’s over $1,000 right there. But, you know what? I am about to pay off one of
my credit bills (FINALLY!! I am NOT getting caught up in the credit trap ever
again!!!!) and that will free up quite a bit of my monthly income, plus I’ll
have my tax refund. If each of us pay half, we should be able to do this fairly
easily.
February 23. I told Elaine that if she can make it out here,
I’d be thrilled if she’d do the reception. Of course I would help out with her
travel costs in return. She said she was definitely coming, but wasn’t sure how
well she could manage to be too much in charge of anything right now. She was
very honored that I thought she would do a decent job – and she was sure she
would--but was afraid it would take more planning than she could do long
distance.
I told her I had the already menu picked out, if that helps….
She did a beautiful job with Sabrina’s reception, so I have no doubt she’d do
well with mine. She promised that they’d all (my sisters) help as much as
possible with set up and being sure everything is how I wanted it.
My friend Sheila (who is currently unemployed, or maybe I
should say semi-employed since she is doing some work out of her home) has
offered to help, and she is the type who has the personality and the
connections to do this type of thing. So we’ve been emailing back & forth
about the plans for several weeks. I can see if she knows a good, reasonable
caterer. The park does have a senior center for the reception, but I’d like to
have it outdoors if at all possible.
I don’t want anything big or fancy; we might have 30 people
there, even if the whole family shows up! Hobby Lobby has a lot of wedding
stuff; Sheila said that Williams (grocery store) does good wedding cakes and
would be reasonable.
As for the honeymoon, we’re talking about a Bahama cruise,
although nothing is set in stone. Joe is retired from the Navy and has sailed
around the world twice, so a cruise isn’t high on his list of his priorities.
We both love the outdoors, so I’d consider a mountain resort where we can do a
lot of hiking and take cool pictures, if the cruise doesn’t work out.
March 6. I’ve worked the past 3 weekends but am NOT working
this weekend. I physically can’t keep this up, although I’ll probably be working
the following weekend. This is crazy, don’t they know I have a wedding to
plan?!
Still looking for a dress. I haven’t seen anything in the
stores that I like so I’ll probably make one of my own, but I haven’t decided
on the pattern or the material. I’ve been saying I’m not wearing white, but I
*might* make a white mid-calf length dress and make a wrap to go around the
shoulders, out of a colored/patterned fabric. The fabric I got for Jodie’s
dress is real pretty (pink chiffon with purple-pink butterflies that look like
they were water-painted on) so I might even make my own dress out of it. We
found shirts for the guys at JCPenney. Joe wants his Navy buddy Matt to be his
best man; I told him I don’t think I could choose a maid of honor. Out of 3
sisters, I couldn’t choose just one. And I’ve got girl-friends, but I’m not
really close enough to any of them to ask them to be my maid (or matron) of
honor. I’m going to have Joe’s kids stand with him, and Nathan stand with me.
I’ve extended our date to the end of May, after the kids are
out of school. I would love to marry Joe amongst the azaleas in Muskogee in
April. Honor Heights Park is so lovely that time of year. But, Joe’s kids go to
a different school district than what Nathan and I live in, and it wouldn’t
make sense to move them to a different school with only a month left in the
school year. Also, it wouldn’t make sense for him and his kids to live 30
minutes away from us, after we get married. I can see it: Yeah, we’re married
but living separately. Nope, it would probably be best to wait until the kids
are out of school.
March 23. Wedding plans are coming along, slowly but surely.
I want an outdoor wedding, so Sheila and I checked out the Rose Gardens at Will
Rogers Park Thursday. We got ideas of how we want to set up the chairs,
reception tables, etc. I’ve got most of the music decided on, but still need to
pick a piece for the recessional. The guys are outfitted already, except for
John and Nathan – I want to wait before buying them new shoes or pants because
they are at the age where they can grow a lot in a short time. I was going to make Jodie’s dress myself but I
think I’ll ask a lady here at work if she can make it. One less thing for me to
worry about, you know.
March 25. I went ahead and reserved the Rose Gardens for
Sunday, May 31. Just 2 months away! Melissa asked me if I’m ready to get the
wedding over with! I’m really not in a hurry – there is just so much to do! One
of those is to get a minister. Sheila has a friend who is licensed to do
weddings but is not really a religious minister. His church is more like a Life
church or Community church. So, I don’t know. There wouldn’t be anything wrong
with someone like that marrying us, and it’s not like we follow any religion
anyway. All I really want is someone who can say, “Do you, do you, I pronounce
you.” I wonder if he would read some
scriptures for us.
March 30. I was kinda looking forward to seeing Elaine’s
boys again when she comes out, but I had a real good feeling she wouldn’t bring
them! I figured she’d take this opportunity to do something on her own, and get
a short vacation from her 3 darling little boys whom she dearly loves but can
be a handful.
I think we’ll just have the rehearsal at my house, Saturday
evening, in the backyard, and probably go eat at Bad Brad’s BBQ afterward. It’s
a small side-of-the-road bbq place, and has the BEST brisket ever. Locally
owned. There are 3 in Oklahoma and 1 in Texas. It’s got a real western,
small-town décor. We were eating there once, and Jodie asked where the
restrooms are. I pointed around the corner. She headed that direction and came
back 10 seconds or later. “Bulls or heifers?” she asked. I am still laughing
about that one.
Little by little, everything is coming together. Joe and I
went to Hobby Lobby and Garden Ridge Saturday and got tons of flowers, ivy,
plastic plates, and cups. Both places had their flowers 50% off. So we got some
great deals! I looked at cakes at a grocery store in Yukon. The one I liked the
best was $300 and served at least 120. Don’t need one that big! Also we’re
getting our house ready to sell….
April 13. Friday Joe and I got our cake ordered from a place
at May and 63rd called Sweete Memories. It’ll be a 2-tier, lemon
with raspberry filling. YUM. We got to
sample 5 or 6 varieties and the lemon raspberry was by far my favorite. I think
I’ll put Elaine in charge of the cake. I need someone who has a creative eye
and won’t be all nervous and shaky and high-strung like I probably will be! I’ve
already told her about it – we have to pick up the cake on Saturday and keep it
refrigerated; it will be in 2 pieces so
we’ll have to put the top layer on ourselves. And, I’m wanting both tiers
topped with flowers. We’ll also have to do that ourselves. It was only $150 and
we’re not having a groom’s cake. The wedding is going to be so inexpensive
(thank goodness). Nice, but inexpensive.
April 23. My friend Rebecca asked me if I was getting cold
feet. No, not getting “cold feet” per se, but it is weird to think of myself as
being married to someone again. Joe and I have been together about the same
amount of time that my first husband and I were together before getting
married, and we now know how that turned out. So I hope I’m not being too hasty
this time…. No, don’t think so. Joe definitely wants to be with me and has
already committed himself to me, whereas with my first husband, I felt like a convenience
more than anything. Totally different scenario.
April 29. I finally found a dress that I’m happy with! I
looked at about 20 different dresses at different stores; some white, some
magenta, some pink, some solid, some printed…but I finally settled with one I
found at Dillard’s, a white satiny, summery dress. I’m still going to have to
shed a few pounds so I won’t look like a cow in it though. A month to go…
Probably in a couple weeks it’ll hit me and I’ll start freaking out getting
last minute stuff done!
May 1. Ugh! 30 days and counting, and I found out yesterday
that we can’t have the reception at the Rose Gardens! Seems they gave me a list
of rules and regs when I reserved it but all I remember is throwing in the
floorboard of my car and never really reading it. So this news came last night.
Shame on me.
SO – we are exploring other options, and may even have the
wedding itself in a separate location. I mean really, why spend a lot of time
decorating a place that is only going to be used for 30 minutes? Thankfully the
invitations have not been sent out yet.
And I actually never did read the rules and regs. I don’t
even know where that sheet is now. It was Sheila who met with the lady who is
in charge of renting the Rose Garden, and Shel was asking about garbage cans.
The lady was like, What do you need garbage cans for? Shel said for the
reception. That’s when the lady said that you can’t have a reception at the
Rose Garden, and that every bride is told that upon renting the facility. I
thought they could have been a bit more vocal about it, such as specifically
pointing it out. They ought to put it on the website and make it more clear.
Oh well, I’m glad I found out now. Something will turn up.
I’m getting a wee bit stressed but as I’ve told Joe, this wedding cannot be
characterized by stress. My first one was horrendously stressful because, well,
various reasons, and I always swore I would never go thru that again. It was
not a happy time in my life. So that’s why I’ve been kind of ho-hum, la-te-da
about this one! I want it to be relaxed and fun!
May 4. Less than 4 weeks to go. The park has a picnic shelter, called the
South Pavilion, which we can rent for the reception, and IT HAS RESTROOMS. The
Rose Gardens themselves have no facilities nearby. Joe and I were out walking around the park
Saturday --- I’ve lived in OKC for nearly 15 years, and never knew what a nice
park it is. The only 2 parts of the park I’d even seen or been to were the
Tennis Center, back in my tennis days, and the Amphitheater, when I’d go to the
Twilight Concerts during the summer. But besides the Rose Gardens (which are
starting to bloom) they have a beautiful Iris Garden. They have irises in about
100 different colors. There is an aquatic center, another picnic shelter
besides the South Pavilion, and lots of shade trees and green lawn and picnic
tables. I found a picnic area secluded under these huge shade trees which was
soooo peaceful. I told Joe I wanted to stay there all day (without the kids, of
course) and just let the stress melt from my body.
Invitations will need to be sent out soon.
May 14. It’s getting down to the wire! 16 days to go. Plans
are coming along. I’m glad I’ve had Sheila to help. Honestly I had my doubts
for a while; although she isn’t working an 8-5 job, she still keeps very busy
and seems to be pulled in a lot of directions. So for a while we were doubting
if she really had the time to devote to the wedding. But – things are coming
together. Joe and I went to the courthouse today to get our license, and they
said the first day we could get it is May 22, next Friday. I wonder why that
is. We had also gone to the VA hospital (where Joe gets medical care for free)
to get blood tests, and they told us that Oklahoma hadn’t required blood tests
in several years. We didn’t know that! So I took extra time for lunch and
accomplished nothing!
May 26. 5 more days, and I’ll be a married woman again. Jill, my friend from work, had asked me if I’m getting nervous yet.
My sister in law, Kim, asked me if I was getting the pre-wedding jitters, and
one of my co-workers asked if I was getting cold feet. It’s weird. Strange as it seems, I’m not
nervous or jittery at all. Just taking it a day at a time!
Sometimes I ask Joe, “Are you SURE you want to marry me? Are
you really sure?” and he’ll ask me, “Are you sure you can put up with me the
rest of your life?” to which I respond,
“Just don’t piss me off!”
I finally had an extra day off (Memorial Day). I finally got
rested up, and we got so much done. Saturday it was nearly noon before I woke
up! It was after 11 to be sure. I had dreamed about Joe cheating on me. There
was this young, trailer-trash blonde single mom with 2 young kids that, he was
helping around the house. I was there for Thanksgiving dinner… eventually
several other people (family) showed up, as did Joe. I hardly saw him all day
but when I did, the blonde was “buddying up” with him. I could tell she was
hitting on him and was working up to go in for the kill. Finally I was looking
all over the house for him, and I was just sure he was either with her in her
bedroom, or taking a shower with her. I found them in the shower together. When
I found them she defensively put her arms around him. I was yelling and cussing
at him, and threw the engagement ring at him. “How could you do this to me?” I
yelled. “You’re my fiancé! Well, not any
more you’re not.”
He assured me that
would NEVER happen!
