Do You, Do You, I Pronounce You

May 31, 2009

Joe and I are married now! Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Together.

The wedding was simple. The day was hot but the park was beautiful with roses in pink, red, yellow, orange. The cake, lemon with raspberry filling, was delicious. All our close friends and family were there. After five months of planning it all came together.

Tomorrow we head west to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. But for now we’re relaxing on the couch in our home, amidst all the gifts, cards, and leftover cake. I’m exhausted. Pachelbel’s Canon in D and Josh Groban’s When You Say You Love Me swirl in my head…..

February 3.  I’ve been looking at dresses. I don’t intend to wear white; heck, we’ve both been married before so I just want it to be pretty and comfortable and casual. Right now I’m leaning toward magenta and ivy-green. The guys won’t wear ties; probably just polo shirts and nice slacks. Not going to throw the bouquet, toss the garter, or have the official ‘going-away.’ I want to just relax and enjoy the reception and take time to visit with the guests this time!

 
Right now the issue is becoming MONEY. EXPENSES.  Joe is concerned about the costs of the wedding plus a honeymoon (I want to go on a cruise). Location rental, food, photography, flowers, minister, clothing… D’ye think $2,000 ought to cover it?! Oh, and a cruise would be $200-$300 each, plus the flight to get to the port. That’s over $1,000 right there. But, you know what? I am about to pay off one of my credit bills (FINALLY!! I am NOT getting caught up in the credit trap ever again!!!!) and that will free up quite a bit of my monthly income, plus I’ll have my tax refund. If each of us pay half, we should be able to do this fairly easily.

February 23. I told Elaine that if she can make it out here, I’d be thrilled if she’d do the reception. Of course I would help out with her travel costs in return. She said she was definitely coming, but wasn’t sure how well she could manage to be too much in charge of anything right now. She was very honored that I thought she would do a decent job – and she was sure she would--but was afraid it would take more planning than she could do long distance.

I told her I had the already menu picked out, if that helps…. She did a beautiful job with Sabrina’s reception, so I have no doubt she’d do well with mine. She promised that they’d all (my sisters) help as much as possible with set up and being sure everything is how I wanted it.

My friend Sheila (who is currently unemployed, or maybe I should say semi-employed since she is doing some work out of her home) has offered to help, and she is the type who has the personality and the connections to do this type of thing. So we’ve been emailing back & forth about the plans for several weeks. I can see if she knows a good, reasonable caterer. The park does have a senior center for the reception, but I’d like to have it outdoors if at all possible.

I don’t want anything big or fancy; we might have 30 people there, even if the whole family shows up! Hobby Lobby has a lot of wedding stuff; Sheila said that Williams (grocery store) does good wedding cakes and would be reasonable.

As for the honeymoon, we’re talking about a Bahama cruise, although nothing is set in stone. Joe is retired from the Navy and has sailed around the world twice, so a cruise isn’t high on his list of his priorities. We both love the outdoors, so I’d consider a mountain resort where we can do a lot of hiking and take cool pictures, if the cruise doesn’t work out.

March 6. I’ve worked the past 3 weekends but am NOT working this weekend. I physically can’t keep this up, although I’ll probably be working the following weekend. This is crazy, don’t they know I have a wedding to plan?!

Still looking for a dress. I haven’t seen anything in the stores that I like so I’ll probably make one of my own, but I haven’t decided on the pattern or the material. I’ve been saying I’m not wearing white, but I *might* make a white mid-calf length dress and make a wrap to go around the shoulders, out of a colored/patterned fabric. The fabric I got for Jodie’s dress is real pretty (pink chiffon with purple-pink butterflies that look like they were water-painted on) so I might even make my own dress out of it. We found shirts for the guys at JCPenney. Joe wants his Navy buddy Matt to be his best man; I told him I don’t think I could choose a maid of honor. Out of 3 sisters, I couldn’t choose just one. And I’ve got girl-friends, but I’m not really close enough to any of them to ask them to be my maid (or matron) of honor. I’m going to have Joe’s kids stand with him, and Nathan stand with me.

I’ve extended our date to the end of May, after the kids are out of school. I would love to marry Joe amongst the azaleas in Muskogee in April. Honor Heights Park is so lovely that time of year. But, Joe’s kids go to a different school district than what Nathan and I live in, and it wouldn’t make sense to move them to a different school with only a month left in the school year. Also, it wouldn’t make sense for him and his kids to live 30 minutes away from us, after we get married. I can see it: Yeah, we’re married but living separately. Nope, it would probably be best to wait until the kids are out of school.

March 23. Wedding plans are coming along, slowly but surely. I want an outdoor wedding, so Sheila and I checked out the Rose Gardens at Will Rogers Park Thursday. We got ideas of how we want to set up the chairs, reception tables, etc. I’ve got most of the music decided on, but still need to pick a piece for the recessional. The guys are outfitted already, except for John and Nathan – I want to wait before buying them new shoes or pants because they are at the age where they can grow a lot in a short time.  I was going to make Jodie’s dress myself but I think I’ll ask a lady here at work if she can make it. One less thing for me to worry about, you know.

March 25. I went ahead and reserved the Rose Gardens for Sunday, May 31. Just 2 months away! Melissa asked me if I’m ready to get the wedding over with! I’m really not in a hurry – there is just so much to do! One of those is to get a minister. Sheila has a friend who is licensed to do weddings but is not really a religious minister. His church is more like a Life church or Community church. So, I don’t know. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with someone like that marrying us, and it’s not like we follow any religion anyway. All I really want is someone who can say, “Do you, do you, I pronounce you.”  I wonder if he would read some scriptures for us.

 

March 30. I was kinda looking forward to seeing Elaine’s boys again when she comes out, but I had a real good feeling she wouldn’t bring them! I figured she’d take this opportunity to do something on her own, and get a short vacation from her 3 darling little boys whom she dearly loves but can be a handful.

I think we’ll just have the rehearsal at my house, Saturday evening, in the backyard, and probably go eat at Bad Brad’s BBQ afterward. It’s a small side-of-the-road bbq place, and has the BEST brisket ever. Locally owned. There are 3 in Oklahoma and 1 in Texas. It’s got a real western, small-town décor. We were eating there once, and Jodie asked where the restrooms are. I pointed around the corner. She headed that direction and came back 10 seconds or later. “Bulls or heifers?” she asked. I am still laughing about that one.

Little by little, everything is coming together. Joe and I went to Hobby Lobby and Garden Ridge Saturday and got tons of flowers, ivy, plastic plates, and cups. Both places had their flowers 50% off. So we got some great deals! I looked at cakes at a grocery store in Yukon. The one I liked the best was $300 and served at least 120. Don’t need one that big! Also we’re getting our house ready to sell….

April 13. Friday Joe and I got our cake ordered from a place at May and 63^rd called Sweete Memories. It’ll be a 2-tier, lemon with raspberry filling. YUM.  We got to sample 5 or 6 varieties and the lemon raspberry was by far my favorite. I think I’ll put Elaine in charge of the cake. I need someone who has a creative eye and won’t be all nervous and shaky and high-strung like I probably will be! I’ve already told her about it – we have to pick up the cake on Saturday and keep it refrigerated; it will be in  2 pieces so we’ll have to put the top layer on ourselves. And, I’m wanting both tiers topped with flowers. We’ll also have to do that ourselves. It was only $150 and we’re not having a groom’s cake. The wedding is going to be so inexpensive (thank goodness). Nice, but inexpensive.

April 23. My friend Rebecca asked me if I was getting cold feet. No, not getting “cold feet” per se, but it is weird to think of myself as being married to someone again. Joe and I have been together about the same amount of time that my first husband and I were together before getting married, and we now know how that turned out. So I hope I’m not being too hasty this time…. No, don’t think so. Joe definitely wants to be with me and has already committed himself to me, whereas with my first husband, I felt like a convenience more than anything. Totally different scenario.

April 29. I finally found a dress that I’m happy with! I looked at about 20 different dresses at different stores; some white, some magenta, some pink, some solid, some printed…but I finally settled with one I found at Dillard’s, a white satiny, summery dress. I’m still going to have to shed a few pounds so I won’t look like a cow in it though. A month to go… Probably in a couple weeks it’ll hit me and I’ll start freaking out getting last minute stuff done!

May 1. Ugh! 30 days and counting, and I found out yesterday that we can’t have the reception at the Rose Gardens! Seems they gave me a list of rules and regs when I reserved it but all I remember is throwing in the floorboard of my car and never really reading it. So this news came last night. Shame on me.

SO – we are exploring other options, and may even have the wedding itself in a separate location. I mean really, why spend a lot of time decorating a place that is only going to be used for 30 minutes? Thankfully the invitations have not been sent out yet.

And I actually never did read the rules and regs. I don’t even know where that sheet is now. It was Sheila who met with the lady who is in charge of renting the Rose Garden, and Shel was asking about garbage cans. The lady was like, What do you need garbage cans for? Shel said for the reception. That’s when the lady said that you can’t have a reception at the Rose Garden, and that every bride is told that upon renting the facility. I thought they could have been a bit more vocal about it, such as specifically pointing it out. They ought to put it on the website and make it more clear.

Oh well, I’m glad I found out now. Something will turn up. I’m getting a wee bit stressed but as I’ve told Joe, this wedding cannot be characterized by stress. My first one was horrendously stressful because, well, various reasons, and I always swore I would never go thru that again. It was not a happy time in my life. So that’s why I’ve been kind of ho-hum, la-te-da about this one! I want it to be relaxed and fun!

May 4. Less than 4 weeks to go.  The park has a picnic shelter, called the South Pavilion, which we can rent for the reception, and IT HAS RESTROOMS. The Rose Gardens themselves have no facilities nearby.  Joe and I were out walking around the park Saturday --- I’ve lived in OKC for nearly 15 years, and never knew what a nice park it is. The only 2 parts of the park I’d even seen or been to were the Tennis Center, back in my tennis days, and the Amphitheater, when I’d go to the Twilight Concerts during the summer. But besides the Rose Gardens (which are starting to bloom) they have a beautiful Iris Garden. They have irises in about 100 different colors. There is an aquatic center, another picnic shelter besides the South Pavilion, and lots of shade trees and green lawn and picnic tables. I found a picnic area secluded under these huge shade trees which was soooo peaceful. I told Joe I wanted to stay there all day (without the kids, of course) and just let the stress melt from my body.

Invitations will need to be sent out soon.

May 14. It’s getting down to the wire! 16 days to go. Plans are coming along. I’m glad I’ve had Sheila to help. Honestly I had my doubts for a while; although she isn’t working an 8-5 job, she still keeps very busy and seems to be pulled in a lot of directions. So for a while we were doubting if she really had the time to devote to the wedding. But – things are coming together. Joe and I went to the courthouse today to get our license, and they said the first day we could get it is May 22, next Friday. I wonder why that is. We had also gone to the VA hospital (where Joe gets medical care for free) to get blood tests, and they told us that Oklahoma hadn’t required blood tests in several years. We didn’t know that! So I took extra time for lunch and accomplished nothing!

May 26. 5 more days, and I’ll be a married woman again. Jill, my friend from work, had asked me if I’m getting nervous yet. My sister in law, Kim, asked me if I was getting the pre-wedding jitters, and one of my co-workers asked if I was getting cold feet.  It’s weird. Strange as it seems, I’m not nervous or jittery at all. Just taking it a day at a time!

Sometimes I ask Joe, “Are you SURE you want to marry me? Are you really sure?” and he’ll ask me, “Are you sure you can put up with me the rest of  your life?” to which I respond, “Just don’t piss me off!”

I finally had an extra day off (Memorial Day). I finally got rested up, and we got so much done. Saturday it was nearly noon before I woke up! It was after 11 to be sure. I had dreamed about Joe cheating on me. There was this young, trailer-trash blonde single mom with 2 young kids that, he was helping around the house. I was there for Thanksgiving dinner… eventually several other people (family) showed up, as did Joe. I hardly saw him all day but when I did, the blonde was “buddying up” with him. I could tell she was hitting on him and was working up to go in for the kill. Finally I was looking all over the house for him, and I was just sure he was either with her in her bedroom, or taking a shower with her. I found them in the shower together. When I found them she defensively put her arms around him. I was yelling and cussing at him, and threw the engagement ring at him. “How could you do this to me?” I yelled.  “You’re my fiancé! Well, not any more you’re not.”

 He assured me that would NEVER happen!