Mom Angst

July 24, 2008

Nathan will be 12 tomorrow. Wow, I can’t believe that. Twelve years ago today I went into work as usual that Wednesday morning. I was an accounting clerk at the now-defunct wholesale food distributor, Fleming Companies. I parked underground at the Waterford complex where Fleming’s headquarters were housed. I met my friend Pam on the way to the elevator. I remember saying that I’d been having back cramps, like I was getting ready to start my period. “Do you know what that means?” she asked. I nodded, assuming she meant that my labor had begun.

My due date was July 26. Nathan was born Thursday night about 9:15 on the 25th. Twelve years ago.

He & his dad are spending the day at Frontier City, and Saturday at White Water. That’ll be fun for them. The rest of us – Joe, John, Jodie, and I -- are making the 4-hour drive to the southeastern corner of the state, for our annual float trip down the Lower Mountain Fork. Joe and John are renting the canoe for the 9-mile, 6-hour trip down that river in Broken Bow, while Jodie and I are going to hang out and walk trails or something. You know, have some mom & stepdaughter bonding time.

We’re staying in a cabin this year, instead of camping at the Rereg Dam area like before. No facilities at the Rereg; only outhouses. No running water; what we usually do is take 3 or 4 gallon-jugs of water and soap, shampoo, and toothpaste, and just wash up by hand. I can’t stand feeling grody after a night’s sleep, and as I recall, last year was hot and muggy so I HAD to get cleaned up.

Won’t have that problem this year though, staying in a cabin! It’ll feel great to get a shower in the morning after a hot Oklahoma day. On the downside, I’ll miss falling asleep to bugs calling and river water bubbling, and waking up to tree leaves rustling and birds chirping as the sun rises over the water.

Nathan seems to be adapting well to his new step-siblings. It’s hard to tell; he began pushing me away when he was about 9 or 10 (as most pre-teens do) and he doesn’t talk to me as openly as before. I miss that.

Earlier this summer I had an idea for a way for Nathan to make a little extra spending money. Aluminum cans! I called the recycling plant earlier in the spring and they were paying 75¢ per pound for aluminum cans. It’s gone down since then, but money is money, right?

I’d been collecting them on my own at the office, which gave us a good start. Then we started collecting them from the roadside near our neighborhood. You’d be amazed how much trash people just throw out onto the streets. Much of that may be the wind, carrying paper items from trash cans to the roadside. But no way would even the Oklahoma winds carry glass beer bottles, or place empty beer cans along the same stretches of the same roads consistently!

We find a LOT of beer cans along the sides of the roads near our home. Also I’ve discovered that construction sites are virtual gold mines. Numerous houses are going up in Yukon and Mustang, and the workers just toss their soda or energy drink cans on the ground. Probably the majority of the cans we’ve collected have been from construction sites. Sure they’re dirty and covered with that red Oklahoma mud, but that can be washed. Hey, I grew up near the woods. I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.

Geez, I just realized I've spent 2 paragraphs talking about aluminum cans. I gotta get a life.

Anyway, we rinse each of the cans out to get the dirt out or even just the last remaining drops of cola or beer, squash them to make them smaller so they take up less space, then bag them up. Last night we bagged about 12 lbs. Before we went on vacation Joe took 8 bags to the recycling center to cash them in. Those 8 bags turned out to be 21 lbs. We got $15 out of it. Not bad money, for a 12-year old.

Besides helping Nathan make a little money, I’m trying to teach him some work ethic too. He is expected to help in some way, whether it’s gathering, washing, or bagging the cans. It won’t be too many more years before he starts looking for a summer job, and I want him to go into it with a right attitude. When you’re young, employers aren’t so much interested in your hard skills, they’re more interested in your attitude and ethic. I’ll end this piece with lessons I believe in and hope my son learns to follow also:

1. Don’t do a half-way job. Do your best work and double-check yourself when done.
2. Follow directions. Do what you’re asked to do….
3. …without arguing. Have a “you bet” attitude.
4. Work as a team with whoever you’re working with. If you finish your job, see if you can help someone else.
5. Be responsible. Get your job done, done well, whether anyone’s watching or not.
6. Be dependable. Do what you’ll say you do, when you say you’ll do it.
7. Listen to instructions and pay attention to what you’re doing.