We're Partners (and I'm Not a Moocher!)

February 27, 2008

I think Joe got his feelings hurt when I paid for dinner Sunday. He always pays. He paid for our $160 valentine dinner at The Melting Pot, and I tried to offer him $80 for my half. I don’t like him spending a lot of money on me, especially with his other financial obligations. He refused the $80, but I found another way to pay him back.

We had Sunday dinner at Cracker Barrel. When the check came, he had to go to the restroom so gave me his debit card to pay with. While he was there I quietly put his card aside and paid for dinner with my own debit card!

He was clearly upset that I paid. But the check was only about $30 and besides, I told him, I’m not a moocher. He doesn’t have to pay for everything. But, he takes his role as provider very seriously and fully expects and plans to pay when we go out. He likes to take care of me, he says, which of course I love and appreciate. But again, I’m not a moocher.

Also I told him I’m not lazy. While he was doing dishes the other day I started to take the trash out. I mean, the trashcan was full and it needed taken to the garbage. He said, “That’s OK, dear, I’ll get it.” And of course I appreciate everything he does. But there’s no reason I can’t get it (besides, I was afraid the cat was going to knock it over and get trash everywhere), and what am I going to do? Just sit on the couch while he does everything?

No, maybe other women will do that, but not me. I prefer that we work together when it comes to chores, rather than keeping some kind of mental score as to who does what. We are a TEAM, we are PARTNERS.