Believing in Love After 40

Early 2007

Someone once told me -- it was my older sister, I think -- that my forties would be the best time of my life. I would never believe it were I not living it.

Mainly, I had given up on the idea of ever being in a relationship again. Being single for five years after my separation and divorce, and having very little luck dating again, I was ready to accept that love was simply not meant for me.

Oh, it wasn't like I didn't try! I made friends and started getting invited to the parties and happy hours. I played tennis on a social league [OCTA -- Oklahoma City Tennis Association] for a few years. I joined an outdoor group [OKC Outdoor Network] and went on group hikes and camping trips. I grew out of the shell of shyness that had encased me for my nearly-40 years and built a pretty active social life. My calendar was kept full; it certainly wasn't like I was sitting around the house by myself all the time.

But still, most of the 40-something guys I met must have been quite happily single, because though I had many friends -- male and female, single and married -- I rarely had a date. Not even a set-up by one of my married friends or girl-friends.

Well, sometimes life has to hit you on the head with a brick to get your attention. I realized that all my friends from the parties, the happy hours, the group activities, were from the same main group of people. No wonder I never met anyone new -- I hung out with the same people over and over! So, I knew I had to expand my horizons and go outside my comfort zone.

That's when I met Joe. Like I said, I'd given up on the idea of ever being in a relationship again, and Joe was just a nice guy, just a fun guy to hang out with. It won't go anywhere, I told my friends. He's not my type at all.