Past the Honeymoon Stage

October 15, 2007

Friday Joe and I went to our friend Sam's 40th birthday party, at the American Legion Hall in Edmond. It was fun – lots of food, all the friends, we even had karaoke. I got to feeling a little crowded in, which I should have expected. I can't stand to be around a lot of people, I get claustrophobic in crowds.

But also, I was frustrated that Joe was sitting so close to me that I could hardly move my chair back to get up when I needed to. He can be a tad clingy. I wanted to tell him to “scoot over!!” But I didn’t want to be rude, especially in front of so many people. He kept saying, Are you OK, do you want this, do you need that. And I just wanted him to leave me alone and quit babying me.

It’s in his nature to be a caretaker, and most of the time I love and need the attention. But sometimes it drives me nuts how he feels he has to come to my rescue every time he hears a peep from me. I am not helpless. I am a grown woman! Then finally I just had to go outside and be by myself. Wouldn’t you know it, he followed me out there. He needs to be needed. And I need breathing space.

So I think I’m moving past the honeymoon stage. Don’t know about him, but my attitude is changing. I’m getting to where I don’t want him around as much. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him, just means times are changing. When I said Nathan and I would be driving out to Georgia to visit my relatives for Thanksgiving, his response was, "What am I going to do without you for a week?” And I’m like, get over it. You’re a grownup. I'm not your entertainment coordinator.

Am I growing out of him already? Sure as the world, I’m not compromising my standards or changing my values in life for him. But – it’s still early. I've known him for a mere six months. I can’t look at only what I want to see, I have to see what’s really there. And that takes time.