"Gotta Have A Man" Syndrome

Later, same day

I was reading “Single in the Suburbs” on MSN.com again today. It's a feature-blog about this 40-something divorced lady trying to get back into the dating game after 20 years of marriage. I wonder how much of it is actually true, and how much is just story-telling. Because, if what she says is actually true, that woman is a LOS – ER!

She’s upset that her ex-husband’s life insurance premium is still coming out of her checking account, and she called him to make a deposit to cover it AND the overdraft fee. I agree with that. But he’s arguing with her saying she should have a “cushion” so that she wouldn't have to worry about the occasional expense that will come up.

She said that when she was married she never had to check her bank balance and had no problem at all writing checks for big-ticket items because her husband always kept a healthy cushion in their account. She’d always heard of people living paycheck to paycheck but never thought she’d be one of them. She’s complaining that she can no longer afford a housekeeper and has to do all the house cleaning herself; she can no longer afford to get her nails done; and I don’t remember what else. Well, welcome to the real world!

I am betting that very few average, normal, everyday 40-something moms (single or otherwise) have such luxuries. Most of us have to carefully budget our expenses to make sure our money lasts. And what's wrong with doing your own nails? Why not clean your own house and even *gasp!* have your teenage daughter help? No, she just wants a man around to support her so that she won't have to worry about such trivialities.

In one post she was considering pursuing a man she wasn't even attracted to, for no other reason than that he had a lot of money and he'd be able to take care of her financially. Respect yourself, girlfriend!

Makes me want to write my own “single” column, from someone dealing with REAL issues. This woman symbolizes the epitome of the “gotta have a man” syndrome that permeates single-woman society these days. She’s sacrificing her self-respect just to have a man in her life, because she doesn’t know how to live without one. I have little respect for a woman like that.